Still learning.

I learned a lot of things tonight... and over the past 9 months.

I learned that I had some shell shock when it came to the effects of turning 21.

I need to communicate my feelings better because my selflessness and people pleasing just isn't good for me. I want to help people and make them happy but I don't need to take it upon myself to make sure everything is perfect.

Things aren't always going to be perfect and that's okay. We need imperfect and boring times to recognize all the amazing ones.

I worry... wayyyy too much but I think I'm very gradually getting better!

I'm learning a lot about myself but I'm nowhere near figuring me out completely.

We need more friends, we love our friends but more are needed.

We HAVE to get out of Utah as soon as possible.

I want to be as good of a version of the real me as possible. The version that isn't compromised by the way I want people to perceive me. To be the real me and know that I will still be loved.

I need to grow up just a little. I think a lot of the things I need to learn are linked to too many insecurities that are attached to the opinion I had of myself in High School. Being gay and hiding yourself like that for so long had some affects on me and I need to let go of it all.

I've also learned that I have someone who loves me unconditionally. I somehow found a person who sees all my flaws and helps me through them and either shows me how to work through them or embraces them as a part of me. I will do better. For him AND for myself. Things will change as time goes by and our relationship will take different steps but I know that I can be with him forever if he's willing to keep tolerating everything that he has already. He is teaching me more about life and how to move passed everything I just listed and is so patient with me. It's amazing to me.

Life is great. I will learn things.