It... Happened!

Alright, I've posted 142 times and in those posts I talk about being sad and not knowing why, and or about being way happy but the people reading never know why. Well here's the answer to all of our questions. Sad because I was gay and unhappy. Happy because I was gay and the happiest.

I turned 21 on monday and I'm just old and I'm just sick of lying and hiding because no matter who knew about me I still couldn't really be me always anywhere I wanted to be because my family didn't know. Last sunday I told my little brother I was gay and it just felt good. He was so great about it and it just motivated me to tell my mom who I was most worried about telling.

On friday I was thrown a Surprise Birthday party. Something nobody has ever done for me. Going through all that trouble was amazing to me. Then on Saturday I spent the day in Salt Lake at an Aviary then Dinner. Then my real birthday I got to wake up my favorite way and was given the most amazing present anyone has given me. It was honestly the most perfect birthday I have ever had and I too damn old to care if people know why it was perfect. It's not fair for me to say I'm in love with someone and keep him hidden just because he's a 'him'.

This last year there has been the longest streak of happiness and every blog I've written talking about me being happy is because of him. I was just too scared for people to see things and for those people to run and go tell my parents. I just don't care anymore. We've been together for 9 months and I'm still so in love with him. I am so set on this decision to be with him and I never want it to end.

I told my mom about us yesterday and she understands how unhappy I have been in the past and she sees how happy I have been this last year. She told me she's just happy that he makes me happy and I loved that. I think almost everyone has been able to see the change in me over the last year and for almost every single person in my life to know about us feels so good that they see its because of him. I love him, and hiding him was worse than hiding myself. He's the most important thing in my life and now I was able to prove it. and ugh. it just feels so good.

I can't wait to see how this changes things for the better. I know it's going to be an adjustment but it makes me excited.