Cry Fest

I'm aware that my last post is all about me staying happy, I'm doing an okay job, but you know, I think the issue is I'm too emotional of a person to be happy all the time. So when I go on a happy streak, I have a break down. There has to be some sort of regulation as to my emotional balances. Because I'm getting annoyed.

Well it happened like this you see. I was on a walk. Already in just like, having a sad mood because I keep thinking about the same stupid things that always bother me, and so yeah I went on a walk to help me feel better because it usually does. And then Heartstrings started playing and iiiii just flat out started crying. Like, uncontrollable hahaha I had my headphones in and so i couldnt hear that stupid noise that you make when you cry. Luckily. I really hate that sound. The sound of when IM crying at least haha. Well I kept on walking and kept on crying and then I calmed down, got a phone call that was probably the best Christmas miracle ever. Cried a happier cry for a while. Calmed down. Went inside. And was fine for a little while longer.

I went to a movie with my little brother and his girlfriend and it was good and I figured that I was done for the night. After I dropped them both off, I was driving, a sad song came on, I thought of the things again. And broke down. hahaha I'm not kidding. Brokeee down. I rarely go on fits where I lose it, but I did. And I could not stop. I wish I could move on with my life. But I dont want to move on, and I dont know how to. So i feel like im doing this to myself and deep down I dont really care that I'm always sad about this. I dont know. Listening to myself cry was so stupid. I hate that sound. So dumb.