It happened. Today happened and it was much more awful than I had thought it would be. Saying goodbye to Kelsea was the hardest thing I have dealt with for so long and I don't think people really understand why it was so hard because this past year I haven't hung out with her very much, or, as much as I did at the beginning of our friendship.
Me and four others met up at Kelsea's house tonight to say our goodbyes. We were all very normal and casual for the first hour like we were just all hanging out. I actually thought maybe I wouldn't cry because I was feeling very okay with it, but then she got us together to say goodbye and Kendel went first and then it was all down hill from there. I hugged her for so long and cried so much and I think I tried to say a few words but I don't think it worked out very well. Then it was over and we were gone. It was just so definite and just hard! askdfhsa worst. So the night carried on and luckily I have more amazing loved ones to help me out during times like this and I'm so thankful for them, but while I was driving, I got a phone call and it was kelsea. I was not prepared for it because when I answered I was already crying. I contemplated not answering but I thought that would be too ironic because I suck at answering her calls more than anyone else and if I had ignored the last phone call that I would get from her in 18 months that would be pretty awful of me haha
Anyways, we talked, and I got more of my feelings out but I still could never stop crying. I hope I got out what I needed to say because I really do value what I have and had with her so much and having her gone will be so sad for me but its not over and she's not dying. I know I will see her again but nobody else is ever allowed to leave me or I will just not be able to handle it.
I love the crap out of you Kelsea. Don't make me write anymore depressing blogs about you please... and be safe in San Diego. 18 months.
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