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Sunday, August 30, 2009

Here we are thumbnail.

Its going to happen. I haven't decided when. But I know I'm going to do it. The small spot on my thumbnail is going to be bitten off soon. Dont make fun of me because I know you really want to. But I really am hesitant to bite it off.


Its lame but I've always been extremely sentimental about... everything. I don't like throwing things away that remind me of good times or good things or good people. This little dot. Saw. It. All. hahahahahahahaha this is so WEIRD!

Here is the picture. You can see the dot along the white crest of the tip of my thumbnail. The little dark dot.
Isnt it just great? I know.

Well I guess I'll do it like, September First. Thats a pretty good day to do it I think. Because a part of my summer was during August and so if its September its all separated. Yeah yeah. Good thinking. 

Well, this weekend was amazing. Thank you everyone who helped make it amazing. I love my friends. 

Have a great day, and dont make fun of my fingernail sentiments.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

My Right Thumb Nail

I bite my nails. Missy says I sometimes bite my nails so low if a camera took a picture of just my hands, people would identify them as frodo baggins hands. Its probably true. Anyways.


I would say.... mid May. I wanted to open my bathroom window. I was standing on the edge of the tub trying to find proper leverage to open the window. It wouldnt budge, so I positioned my right hand on the edge of the sliding side of the window, and used my left hand to pull from the closed end..(i hope that makes sense) I gave it a tug and IT WORKED! only the force smashed my right hand into the wall. My right thumb got the worst of it. Right at the cuticle, it began to bleed.

"Uh... my nail is going to fall off. Im not going to have a thumb in New Jersey. Brian is going to think i did this on purpose. Or i have some disease that effects only my thumb." 

I got over it.

It stopped bleeding and pulsating and moved on.

It started healing like a week before i left to new jersey. It had one of those like nail bruises where its white you know? but it also had like, blood underneath the nail. It looked weird, but my thumb was securely on my thumb.

"Cool." 

I went through the whole summer with this thumb nail. Looking at the blood and the white spot gradually moving its way towards the top of the nail. It was like an infected friend. Always there to look at me when i looked at it.

Right now. Im sitting here typing with only my computer light, and I've stopped to look at this one tiny dark dot left at the very tip of the thumb nail. One last drop of gross dried blood that has seen every day of this summer.

Its ready to be bitten off. I could do it right now. It's on like an edge, you know where its like, pointing a little bit and when you rub your index finger on it its just like, uh that shouldnt be there. But I havent yet.

This thumb nail and I have done a lot this summer! This summer was honestly probably the most memorable summer of my life so far. Thats not even a joke people.

So. Much. Happened. Its insane how much you do not even know happened.

But it was amazing. So many great memories and times and man. It was such a great summer.

AND THE ONLY PHYSICAL ATTACHMENT LEFT IS THIS LITTLE DOT ON MY THUMB! 

Sure. Pictures and such, those help, maybe write a few things down in my Journal or something. But this dot saw it all. And soon I'm going to just bite it off. 

I guess its ready. I mean its probably waiting to join all the other bits of gross blood and white dots. It misses them Im sure.... they all end up in the same place right?...they better.

Maybe I'll take a picture tomorrow before its finished. Just to document my little gross bloody friend.

I guess my other fingernails feel bad that im like leaving them out. I guess the very tips of all of my fingers have seen the exact same things as the gross little blood dot. None of them have marks though so how can i be sure... Do all fingernails grow at the exact same rate? I dont know if they do because im always biting one fingernail one day, then a different one a different day....Wow who freaking knows. 

Anyways, this one is to you little gross dot of blood. You had a great summer. You saw it all. You kept quiet, and you kept it to yourself. 

hahaha

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Whaaaaa?!?!

Yeah. I lied I guess. I'm too lazy to make a new blog right now, so I'm posting something new here! 


I just got back from Florida with Missy and Allie. It was such a good trip Bryant was super nice and treated us like we were like, french poodles. Seriously he was a way good host. He always made sure we were comfortable and always kept us entertained. So thank you Bryant, and I'm sorry I lost your glasses. Ill post some of my favorite pictures here later.

We hit up every theme park for FREE. yeah. and bryant made me go up and dance at every single one of his parades... freaking. I had to make an elephant noise and failed. It was just a good time. Even though we could have died from heat every day. Thank you allie and missy for letting me come.

Well. I love everyone. I love Missy, and Allie and Bryant for giving me an awesome past six days. And i love Cyd and Anna for being the greatest.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Hm..

Well. Im thinking this is my last post on this blog for a while. I'm having trouble coming to terms with a lot of things and like, feeling peaceful about the way my life is. I feel like I cant stop myself from struggling. The last time i felt like, completely OK with my life was.... the second week in june. Hahaha. wow. thats extreeeemely pathetic that I actually know that. Hmm. Its weird to think about.. I remember exactly like, exactly how my life was at that time, and there is NOTHING different about my life right now than it was then. I mean things have changed. But on a personal level. Nothing.. for me has changed... 


It destroys me how I cant do things on my own. I have to complain on this blog even.. Things that I dont even fully understand. Things, i cant even talk about with anyone.

I hate blogspot

Uh. update on my life i guess.

Im getting my hair cut short on tuesday, I just got back from Idaho with my family and that was fun, and im going to Florida on thursday. hoorayyyy

Well.. I guess ill start the process of making a new blog soon. Get ready to view emo on a whole new level. 

I hope life is good for you guys.